Special Needs Parenting: What "Typical" Parents Should Know

I read an article yesterday in the Huffington Post about a special needs parent sharing her thoughts on 7 Things You Don't Know About A Special Needs Parent.  She hit the  nail right on the head! As a special needs parent, I can sympathize with feeling tired, jealous, alone, scared, people's comments, being human and wanting to but not wanting to talk about our child and his/her condition. The one thing I would add to this is feeling guilty, especially if you have other "typical" children.


 I have felt guilty for feeling the sigh of relief knowing that I will not be dealing with any challenges other than typical age appropriate issues. Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty!  I remember giving birth to my little one last year and the first time I rolled him over, I cried.  I cried hard for two reasons: 1. I felt relief. He did not have a scar on his lower back  2.  the guilt of reason #1.  I love both my boys and would do anything for them. There's nothing I won't do for my cubs.  But these feelings are real.  They are feelings that I must cope with, make peace with, mourn at times and let go.  


I have come to terms that living in Holland (Poem Welcome to Holland)  isn't so horrible. The pace is a little slower here. Some days it feels like Groundhog's Day - on repeat. But I've learned to love the day-to-day, taking time to smell the roses, enjoying each smile and laughter. I do crave and long for "normalcy", but this is my norm.  Seeing the world through my son's eyes brings me great joy. 
Location: New York, NY, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Valentine's Day - Special Needs Edition

Image
It's been a while since my last post. It was actually last summer! A lot has happened since then. With new seasons comes new changes, and a new world we are living in.   Fast forward it's now February and big kid just turned 13! I'm still in shock.  Not only do I have a teenager, but I have a teenager who has a "BFF" and said "BFF" is his Valentine!  He's been talking about his BFF for a few months now.  It started with a text from his teacher telling me that big kid felt sad that he didn't have any friends.  (You can only imagine my heartache to hear this).  So the teacher suggested that he talk to all of his classmates and see who he has things in common with.  Well, that day he came back to the teacher excited and announced that he now has a BFF and that she has a lot in common with him. She likes to draw, color, animals, etc.  This made all of us happy. Socialization is a bit challenge for the kid. Being able to communicate with something, ...
Read more

Lessons I’ve learned from my Son with Special Needs in 2017

What a year! Where did it go? Seems like it was January 2017 just a few weeks ago.   So much has transpired over the course of the year. Some good, some hiccups.   Today, as I reflect on the year at hand, my heart is filled with awe and joy at the remarkable progress both my sons have made over the year.   I want to thank my first born for the lessons he has taught me this year.   On Dec. 27 th makes one year since he had his shunt revised. I am convinced it made a world of a difference in conjunction with him becoming a teenager.   He’s like this rare orchid that has finally begun to bloom.   I won’t say he has fully blossomed because he has so much more potential.            You’ve taught me to be patient.   I’ve loved you, believed in you, fought for you, given you all I have and you are growing and blooming.          You’ve taught me to never underestimate you .   Last ni...
Read more

Weekend Getaway - Without the Kids

Image
Memorial Day Weekend Getaway without the kids - Whaaaaat???  (LATE POST) Since we've had the boys, we have not gone away on vacation without them as much as we would have liked.  I can't believe it's been about 7 years since it was just hubby and I. We love our boys.  Don't get me wrong, but this vacation was way overdue.  As a special needs parent, it's never the "right time" to get away for too long.  The mom guilt kicks in. We didn't completely unplug from my kids.  We called them daily, but it was nice to be able to do what we wanted, when we wanted without having to cater to someone else's needs.  To some it may sound selfish but what it truly is - SELF CARE.  See, we cannot be someone's support system if our own foundation is cracked.  Which means, whether it's an hour to get a mani/pedi or a spa day or a getaway, we all need some time to take care of ourselves.  We too, need.  Need to be cared for, need to relax, need to be...
Read more