Holiday Kickoff

Thanksgiving is the kick off to the Holiday season. So much has happened in the past year. This time last year, pollito was out of the hospital after having Kawasaki Disease. We were scared and nervous. I wanted my sweet, inquisitive baby Flash back. Soon after it was evaluation after evaluation for big kid with a diagnosis of Autism. Fast forward, more months of IEP meetings, evaluations and he was finally accepted into a non public school. 

Last Sunday we were fortunate to have a VIP Autism friendly visit to Santaland at Macy's Herald Square. I didn't tell big kid we were going to see Santa, I told him it was a surprise. Well the surprise wa on me, when he refused to take a picture with Santa, not even with me, pollito or his dad. I was a bit disappointed. Pollito and I decided to take a pic wih Santa, as big kid stayed off to the side with dad. We later took them to Toys R Us in Times Square, the second surprise. This time he was more receptive. 

I'm learning that raising children is tough. Tougher when you have a child wih Special needs. You can't please them both, at the same time. I have to learn to accept that big kid is not always going to be receptive to "typical" experiences, no matter how "adaptive" or "sensory-friendly" it may be. I roll the dice every time, taking chances to see which day, which experience is the winner. More often than not, I tend to lose.

Some days this takes a toll on me. I question if I'm doing enough, what could I do or what could have I done better. There is no right or wrong answer. There's no secret formula. It's all trial and error, patience (LOTS of patience) and love. 

Forest Gump said it best "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."  In our case, that's what big kid is. A box of chocolates.  That's what Autism is in our home.  We never know what we're gonna get. But when we do get it right, its the most beautifulest thing in the world! From a simple spontaneous hug or "I Love You" to a song and dance, to hearing him laugh from the gut, the good laugh that is contagious - those are the moments that takes my breath away. 



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