Bringing Awareness to Our Youth About People with Special Needs
Today was a long day. I had to take big kid to the Spina Bifida clinic for a follow up. Thankfully, for the most part, he's doing well. There are a few things I still have to look out for. We were there for about 4 hours as we waited to see the Rehab Team, Urologist and Neurosurgeon. He was there to check his reflexes, general health (he grew 1/2 inch since February) and more importantly, whether or not to replace his shunt.
I've mentioned before that 90% of kids born with Spina Bifida also have Hydrocephalus (excess fluid in the brain). This excess fluid is treated but placing a shunt (like a valve) in the head with a catheter the drains the excess fluid into the abdomen safely). Some children have multiple shunt revisions throughout their lives. Big kid has been fortunate enough to have never had to have a revision. With that being said, he is 12 years old now and the catheter is hardening. This means that there's a possibility that the catheter could break. Long story short, we opted to wait a little longer before having the surgery (same day procedure thanks to modern medicine).
Fast forward, I pick up Pollito after the clinic and decide to take them to the movies. We were on our way to see Pete's Dragon (very cute movie by the way). We took the bus to the theater. As we get closer to the theater, a group of about 6 or 7 kids around 12-14 years old walk in and walk to the back of the bus. I was sitting with Pollito in a two-seater and big kid was sitting across from me. I watched as big kid turned around to see the group of kids, with a soft smile on his face. I could tell, he wanted to say hello or some how interact with them as they were his peers. I'm sure he thought they were "cool". A few stops later, a seat became available behind Pollito and I. So I told big kid to sit behind us. A few minutes later, I hear some chattering from the boys in the back. Then I hear Niko say "Yeah!" and laughing. That's when I heard one of the boys I'll call him Slick, say:
Slick: "This little n$%a thinks I'm retarded." That's when I turned around with a stern face, calm and said "Is there a problem?"
Slick: " He was staring at me and I asked him if he thought I was retarded and he said yeah".
Me: "He has special needs. He doesn't know what you were saying. Some kids are different. You shouldn't be making fun of kids. That's a form of bullying."
At that point a few others said " I didn't say anything" as I coldly stared at them.
One boy, said something and I said "Excuse me?" and he said he was singing, rapping whatever. I said " Aigght" before I gave them all a good stare for what felt like forever, just a few seconds and turned back around. Thankfully, we got off a few stops ahead.
I wanted nothing more than to go to a corner and cry. Cry for my son. Cry because he didn't know any better. Cry because kids can be cruel. Cry because this will not be the last time someone will make fun of him, cry because maybe one day he will be on the bus by himself without me and I won't be there to protect him. Cry because I brought him into this world just the way he is and only those who know him and love him and understand him will know he's a sweet kid who is smart and funny and wants nothing more than just to be happy and possibly just fit in.
I could have gone ape shit on those kids, but I didn't. I was proud of myself the way I handled it, yet felt like maybe I was lucky this time. Maybe next time something will escalate. I wanted those kids to really feel what it's like to be bullied. One of the kids was obese. I wanted to say " Would you like it if someone laughed at you and made fun of your weight?" The next kid, "What about you, skinny with glasses?" But I held my tongue. I was the adult.
I hope something sank in to those kids. After all, my son is not the first child with special needs that they will encounter in their lives and certainly not the last. I pray that they learned something today.
For those of you with typical kids, siblings, nieces, nephews, grandchildren: I implore you to teach your children about differences, to be kind, understanding. We all bleed the same color. We all want to fit in. We all want to be loved and understood. We are all human beings that come in a wide spectrum of size, shape, color. We are all unique in our own ways.
Today, I took a stand. So should you.
I've mentioned before that 90% of kids born with Spina Bifida also have Hydrocephalus (excess fluid in the brain). This excess fluid is treated but placing a shunt (like a valve) in the head with a catheter the drains the excess fluid into the abdomen safely). Some children have multiple shunt revisions throughout their lives. Big kid has been fortunate enough to have never had to have a revision. With that being said, he is 12 years old now and the catheter is hardening. This means that there's a possibility that the catheter could break. Long story short, we opted to wait a little longer before having the surgery (same day procedure thanks to modern medicine).
Fast forward, I pick up Pollito after the clinic and decide to take them to the movies. We were on our way to see Pete's Dragon (very cute movie by the way). We took the bus to the theater. As we get closer to the theater, a group of about 6 or 7 kids around 12-14 years old walk in and walk to the back of the bus. I was sitting with Pollito in a two-seater and big kid was sitting across from me. I watched as big kid turned around to see the group of kids, with a soft smile on his face. I could tell, he wanted to say hello or some how interact with them as they were his peers. I'm sure he thought they were "cool". A few stops later, a seat became available behind Pollito and I. So I told big kid to sit behind us. A few minutes later, I hear some chattering from the boys in the back. Then I hear Niko say "Yeah!" and laughing. That's when I heard one of the boys I'll call him Slick, say:
Slick: "This little n$%a thinks I'm retarded." That's when I turned around with a stern face, calm and said "Is there a problem?"
Slick: " He was staring at me and I asked him if he thought I was retarded and he said yeah".
Me: "He has special needs. He doesn't know what you were saying. Some kids are different. You shouldn't be making fun of kids. That's a form of bullying."
At that point a few others said " I didn't say anything" as I coldly stared at them.
One boy, said something and I said "Excuse me?" and he said he was singing, rapping whatever. I said " Aigght" before I gave them all a good stare for what felt like forever, just a few seconds and turned back around. Thankfully, we got off a few stops ahead.
I wanted nothing more than to go to a corner and cry. Cry for my son. Cry because he didn't know any better. Cry because kids can be cruel. Cry because this will not be the last time someone will make fun of him, cry because maybe one day he will be on the bus by himself without me and I won't be there to protect him. Cry because I brought him into this world just the way he is and only those who know him and love him and understand him will know he's a sweet kid who is smart and funny and wants nothing more than just to be happy and possibly just fit in.
I could have gone ape shit on those kids, but I didn't. I was proud of myself the way I handled it, yet felt like maybe I was lucky this time. Maybe next time something will escalate. I wanted those kids to really feel what it's like to be bullied. One of the kids was obese. I wanted to say " Would you like it if someone laughed at you and made fun of your weight?" The next kid, "What about you, skinny with glasses?" But I held my tongue. I was the adult.
I hope something sank in to those kids. After all, my son is not the first child with special needs that they will encounter in their lives and certainly not the last. I pray that they learned something today.
For those of you with typical kids, siblings, nieces, nephews, grandchildren: I implore you to teach your children about differences, to be kind, understanding. We all bleed the same color. We all want to fit in. We all want to be loved and understood. We are all human beings that come in a wide spectrum of size, shape, color. We are all unique in our own ways.
Today, I took a stand. So should you.
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